We build empires of storage units to hold our unnecessary stuff a fortress of moth-eaten memories, guarded with whimsical boundaries a providence for buying things we crave, but really do not need the materials to which we cling, that we think will bring happiness Generations addicted to television, and other mind-numbing distractions, keep us focused on brainwashing remedies to pessimistically veto individuality Acquire our thoughts and mindsets from celebrities, or preachers, politicians, and quacks whose regimes we follow religiously to avoid the stress of formulating our own thoughts Today it’s hip to be cynical assume the worst, right from the start Pass judgments on things we know nothing about, or have obtained only first impressions. People are easy to consume and discard, the result of McDonaldization. Nearly nothing in this world’s sacred anymore just gets used, thrown away, fully wasted! Important is only the future, and achieving a lucrative job Start planning your life back in middle school, choose your way of reaching the money Strive for deadlines, paydays, and release dates, and simply tolerate the present It all won’t come fast enough, so just rush through your life. If you’re bored, just watch more TV! The soul has rather little power anymore. Our dictators are our own bodies. Our physical assets define who we are especially if we’re fat, or ugly Our skin pigment’s especially vital as well skin tone apparently defines personality! Let’s get skeptical if someone’s not beautiful actions discredited by their own bodies. Nothing’s enough – everything’s never enough! Greed has manifested gratitude The paradigm’s stuck on the external things, and thinking of oneself as most important Shallow’s the fashion, self-obsession the fad, and everything seems quite hopeless But if we first work on rearranging ourselves, and directly start fighting the Feed, we’ll have more individual unity, all without committing mutiny We could achieve a state influenced by love, and peacefully destroy this empire!

When you told me about your addictions, your foolish longings, your prized convictions these things that weren’t actually quite a surprise mostly just the ways you over-analyze Every thought turned to action, every action to speech And I offered guidance psychologically Just a premonition of future correlations, though I thought I wouldn’t be the best for advice Because I am a hypocrite I believe in paradox My ideals are pretty, though hard to achieve I’m often encumbered by my humanity Like Tori, I sometimes can be, frankly, quite cruel, though kindness and acceptance are what I work towards But I am a hypocrite I believe in, adhere to, I am a paradox And I do not approve the behaviors I use, but they’re not used intentionally But I guess I’m just a hypocrite, but paradox ain't so bad I’m a hippo, a hippie, a hippogriff, etc. I’m a hypocrite

They build their comfort zones out of dollar signs, and imaginary lines Then they wrap the whole thing up in old barbed wire Then they take a “NO TRESPASSING” sign, and staple it on top, prosecuting anyone who tries to enter This house is full of boundaries, without much form of diplomacy This house is full of enemies, with no reason to be hostile Take me away… ‘Cause they’re just so afraid of living They built their comfort zones out of $s and imaginary lines Then they erected giant walls to keep each other out Then they called themselves countries, and the rest were aliens prone to get zapped if they tried to get in This country's full of boundaries without much form of diplomacy This country has some enemies with some reason to be hostile Take me away… ‘Cause they’re just so afraid of living I deconstructed my comfort zones no more $s or lines, and I welcome anyone, for I’ve no need for boundaries And I welcome all the challenges I can find for myself It keeps me alive keeps me alive I can do so much more than just survive! It keeps me alive So take me to Siam Take me to Canaan Take me away to Czechoslovakia, to the USSR Take me away to any kind of place that can give me hope for change Take me away… but there will always be pheasants, who can fly across borders There will always be pheasants, who’ve no need for fucking passports! There will always be pheasants

You ran over a unicorn in your kick-ass Mitsubishi And as it punctured both your front tires, you just prayed about insurance ‘Cause you believe in a man, in the man, in a toxic aerosol can While in your heart’s a lesson plan for your entire, humdrum life And as you pine for new relationships, and obsess about your weight, you’ve simply put the seal upon your self-fulfilling fate You simply love to toe the line, and file down all your claws Domesticate, and medicate, your deviant, wild flaws Make a living, embrace routine, and just dream about exemption You’ve stifled every raw impulse, with no room for your redemption So you’ve become, too willingly, just some grease in a machine Empty of blood, inner flame’s a dud, with no imagination But you can still undo the spell, escape this hell, no soul to sell You can save that unicorn, and avoid all that stagnation

I have this new hobby of sending out postcards old postcards from junk shops to faraway friends “Old Soddy From Yesteryear,” corny jokes, cans of beer, and of course places I’ve never been ‘Cause space distresses me Money distresses me And normally it wouldn’t, and I know well it shouldn’t, but it keeps me apart from the people I love I could blame it on George Bush, or our lame economy I could bitch and complain as I so often do But instead, I’ll just deal, and send out these postcards, and hope that, in time, this small world will come true Now here I am at the end of a new year, the end of a new dream, for all I’ve prepared I don’t know if it’s loveless, or if I’ll even survive it I know close to nothing, still I am not scared Well I’m happy wherever I am, with every new setting content And though happy I can be without my beloved Cast C I do dearly miss them, and I hope it comes soon - that time when I’ll see them again

I’m really nothing special when it comes to games like Scrabble But I can sometimes dominate at Trivial Pursuit Even though I’m often written off as unintelligent And my input’s often written off as naive, slow, or cute But I am not naive, I’m just an optimist I can fully comprehend what a fucked-up world this is Because of this, you might presume I simply just don’t get it But I do go far beyond your perception of dim-witted I just try to look beyond the gloom to find what makes life worth living I often patch my clothes to make them more functional But I sometimes patch them just to make them look more snazzy But over all, I hate to waste, hence I reuse my clothes I don’t do it to fit a scene, or just to strike a pose But I am not hardcore, I just try to be myself It’s inevitable along the way I’ll look like someone else Because of this, you might presume I pretend to be somebody But there’s so many folks upon this world, our identities get muddy So I just behave the closest to the ways that make me happy I’ve a new laptop and I’ve seen what androids we’ve become Everything’s electronic now, our friendships and our sex No need for face-to-face friendship because we’ve got the net Our entire lives are simplified to a photo and some text But I am not my profile, it’s just an effigy Depicting the most brief cliff notes of the story of my life Because of this, you might presume this flashy screen is me But really it’s just a snapshot of the point where I’ve arrived The complexity of my whole life, now condensed to simply 2D I’ve made these neat little categories to define myself: Artist, atheist, independent, a FUCKING WHITE MALE, gay And the world wants so much clarity to which ones I belong As long as it’s known what I am, it doesn’t matter what I say But I’m not my identity, I’m too ambivalent My soul cannot be limited to symbolic, dull compartments Of each these things, you might presume I’m the equivalent But humans can’t be subdivided to easy, quick departments Our identities no more a part of us than our clothes or our apartments So come with me, our limitations slowly melt away ’Til it’s just us, no facades, no fronts In sweet ambivalence is where we’ll stay

Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the days of folks on their front porches Who'd enjoy each others' company, to the neighbors open wide Before everyone retreated to private decks in their backyards That is, on those rare occasions when they'd actually go outside Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the days of lovingly-cooked dinners When community was shared around the enjoyment of good food Before instant meals in microwaves wolfed down in front of TVs Food bereft of nutrients, sense of community subdued Chorus: Tell me what is happening to communication? What is happening to community? What is happening to community? Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the days of human interaction And by human interaction, I mean good ol' face-to-face Before conversations transformed into acronyms on screens With people separated in both emotions and cyberspace Chorus Well I guess I am old-fashioned because I like corporeal people I prefer them to these abstract avatars on screens But I guess, in that regard, I'm of a shrinking minority

The world's end is the edge of the porch, and we stare into the abyss As my bike lays imprisoned in the ice It's a full moon - you'll be leaving soon You'll be gone before the cycle is through In the library's possibility to bring me to life Through a glowing soul who radiates the urge to revive All the ways we've forgotten to live and to thrive In a world that's preparing to die You represent so much of what I yearn to become And you've taught me to do it myself Though I'm still compelled, to some degree, to the system succumb But I've made a few steps backward with your help In the library is possibility to bring me to life Through a glowing soul who radiates the urge to revive All the ways we've forgotten to live and to thrive In a world that's preparing to die

I got so used to saying ‘no’, I forgot how to say ‘yes’ Once you’ve seen injustice, it’s in your culture’s every facet I can’t watch movies anymore without analysis, and my brain’s been taken over by my inner conflict theorist And I’m always on the alert for subtle prejudice, so I can’t simply enjoy something for exactly what it is ‘Cause once you’ve woke up, you can’t fall asleep And you’ll see injustice in damn near everything! But in the end it’s worth it, for change has begun Just don’t get too depressed by the unrighteousness, and never forget to have fun If you take me to a shopping mall, I’m the biggest party pooper I’ll get depressed watching consumers try to buy their happiness And I’ll search through all the clothing tags to see what was made in sweatshops: a game who finds the most third-world countries in Abercrombie & Fitch! And I’ll think how all this useless shit will eventually land in landfills And your chipper little shopping trip will be a doom and gloom abyss Roommates call me the recycling Nazi, and I’m big on animal rights I’m the first to point out the fact when a comment’s heterocentric I'll point out all the evil deeds of the U.S. and big business I'll note when something exploits the poor, or if something is racist Come to think, I tend to complain about a wide variety of things I’d like to think it’s not just talk, but effects the way I’m living But you see, it’s unhealthy to just say ‘no’, and never really say ‘yes’ And it’s hard to pull off that whole approach without seeming self-righteous You’re not gonna change too many folks’ minds without a little more patience So I’ll just try to be a bit less gung-ho, and less uptight, I guess

Like Phil said, most people who are depressed simply aren’t having as much sex (as they want to) Right now that’s me, regretfully It’s the solitary reason I am blue I’ve got the blue balls blues As for flakes, I’ve met a lot connect online, they tell you “you’re so hot!” (that's what they say) But when it’s time to commit the crime, a raincheck or disappointment’s all I’ve got I’ve got the blue balls blues Thus my happiness is unquenched like my appetite wondering what I didn’t do right (or said, or typed) My heart is jading, I’m tired of waiting, for a fuck buddy to set my mood aright I’ve got the blue balls blues In the meantime, there’s just one thing I can do to not depend on boys who aren’t true (or don’t follow through) Though it sucks to be alone, I can do it on my own All I really need are hands, and I’ve got two!

It’s interesting to think about the secrets we keep hidden in each person you pass on the street Some secrets trivial, and some hidden deep Some from our lovers, and some from our mothers Some we share freely, and others that leak And once a leak starts, your secret’s long gone lost amongst rumors, rampant in the throng ‘Til your grandparents hear of the substance you’re on Shattered reputations, forced alienation, so be careful which ears your secrets land upon! And then there’s that fallible matter of truth, which all believe they alone can prove But the truth is just relative to what you find couth Varied definitions, depend on conditions, so there’s never, ever a full absolute! Yet still others think that they’re in the know, that word’s a reliable source off which to go So the stories get wilder, the falsehoods all grow Still nobody questions the teller’s intentions, and now you’re the star of a vicious freak show!

You hate the bourgeoisie 'cause it reminds you where you're from You hate the proletariat 'cause it makes you look dumb Instead of fighting a class war, you're sitting on your ass While mooching off your friends who, by the way, are working class An armchair revolutionary full of righteous talk But you rarely take an action, you just love to sit and squawk You reprimand your roommates which they do all your dishes And instead of contributing, you get lazier and vicious Lazier and vicious! x8 You'll pinpoint every detail of each activist group's flaws Which you use as your excuse for never fighting for a cause You're even more judgmental of those who are employed While you exploit their hospitality, get confused if they're annoyed You say "if they really wanted to, they could give me the boot" But your excess gamer lifestyle and the streets do not compute! You're in denial of your privilege for you know that you'd be shunned If your hypocrisy was revealed through your hefty trust fund! Hefty trust fund! x8 So instead you play it off as though you come from rags and dimes And ignore the same scenario you've caused a dozen times When your host becomes so fed up with your shit that they take flight But you still remain oblivious - you're just a parasite! Just a parasite! x16

You say end of a coma but I say end of a chapter At least for everyone here who's been graced with your laughter I hope you know you'll be missed, Lupe! Lupe, you once told me Olympia Is the worst place that you've been As far as people making a huge deal About the pigment of your skin It's ironic in a place boasting to be about Breaking down systems of oppression That limiting people to their demographics Is the popular obsession But you see your friends foremost as people And not by the ways they're identified Because everyone is equal to your non-judgmental eyes I hope you know you'll be missed, Lupe! You'll be missed for your awesome threesomes You'll be missed for your hospitality You'll be missed for your ability To make each birthday a special formality You'll be missed as a yoga princess You'll be missed as a superhero You'll be missed for all the times you baby-sat Kai, Scarlett, and Bandito I hope you know you'll be missed, Lupe! You say end of a coma But I say end of a chapter At least for everyone here Who's been graced with your laughter I hope you know you'll be missed, Lupe!

Some people approach a conversation as if it were a fight Using nonexistent statistics to prove who's in the right Well I don't want another reshuffling of winners and losers I'll approach a conversation as if it were a dance Because when you talk, you don't learn anything But when you listen, you do Does this mean I'm another derelict of postmodern ideologies? Too open to alternatives to form a solid opinion All I learned from four years of taking anthropology Is that everything is relative and nothing's absolute And that there is no such thing as a universal truth So when somebody questions what I think might be my convictions I'm too open to their perspective to adequately refute Because when you talk, you don't learn anything And when you listen, you do So sometimes, I verge on nihilism But what's it even matter? Who cares where an opinion falls in the arbitrary wrongs and rights? It's a gray scale of nothingness on a background of oblivion In the span of all infinity, I'm an insignificant blip!!! So what's it even matter? Everything is nothing!! What's it even matter? Everyone is doomed!!! But then, I snap out of it Think of all I have to live for! Think of all the pleasures abounding on this earth Think of chocolate and kitty-cats Accordions and pho Studio Ghibli and Bjork The Simpsons and used bookstores Leinenkugels, narwhals, musicals The taste of fresh-ground coffee on the threshold of your lips Or the blissful revelry of a lover's hands upon your hips Think of all the possibilities to be done with mind, and hands All the creations in the ether, waiting for innovative beings To set their cogs in motion, to roll out shape the universe Think of all you can experience, think of all you can achieve Or you could say it's all meaningless and fade You could say it's all meaningless and fade You could say it's all meaningless and fade into lonely obscurity!

When you feel the weight of the world pressing down on your shoulders And its magnitude makes it crude to even go one more day And each dismal glimpse of humanity you see on the news Keeps adding one more hue to your ever-growing bruise And you feel so powerless to actually make a change When you have so many burdens, so many debts to pay And none of your old remedies are working anymore And you find it hard to survive amongst so much that you abhor When all you can do is cling to this lawn chair on the deck Of a catastrophic ship that's about to be wrecked And all you can foresee is cataclysmic events And you consider just ending it now so you can escape this mess But instead of giving in to the undertows, Here's a consolation that I propose: We'll have an apocalyptic party Let's just go out with a bang! So if you bake the cupcakes, then I'll call the bands And we'll throw a great big festival to commemorate the end We'll send out invitations through snail-mail and text Let's invite everyone we know, since we don't know when we'll see them next! And use the time we have before this party ends To let it be known how much we appreciate our friends 'Cause they're all we have left when we get to this state Of being too nihilistic, having too much on our plate So we'll shoot off some fireworks, and write one last song But since it's Armageddon, we'll all have to sing along So just sing your heart out, and hold my hand And let's cherish every moment until the utmost end So just sing your heart out, and hold my hand And let's cherish every moment until the utmost end! So as the ship's about to sink, we'll look up at the stars And revel in our gratitude for how lucky we are To have had the chance to sing and dance in merry frivolity To have been lucky enough simply to be And even though it was mixed up With all that pain We'd still take the opportunity To go back and do it all over again So as we watch the fireworks as the world explodes And it's like we're watching time-lapse as the Earth erodes We nostalgically reflect on all we did and saw Until all there's left to say is "Ooh" and "Awe" Oooooooohhhh Aaaaaaaaaahhhh x3

I’m too kinky for FetLife I’m not husband material My innermost desires are illicit and venereal I’ve sold my underwear to a man in Luxembourg My sex life could be diagnosed as a theatre of the absurd I need a pervert’s guide to avoiding loneliness I love the bears and otters But I’ll sometimes go for twinks Any body type is beautiful Especially when it stinks! I like men of many different shapes and shades and demographics I like boys who make collages of National Geographics Philosophers, photographers Blue, white, or pink collars It doesn’t matter much to me whether they are dropouts or scholars I need a pervert’s guide to avoiding loneliness I’ve been dumped due to differences in class I’ve been dumped by guys who didn’t like my cats But the biggest deal-breakers that I’ve ever seen Were from dudes who couldn’t handle my polyamory ‘Cause I’m a slut who is versatile and has many tastes And I don’t like opportunities to go to waste And I might be incapable of monogamy But rest assured, my sluttiness is done ethically Now that doesn’t mean that I’m incapable of love Now that doesn’t mean that I don’t value your uniqueness Now that doesn’t mean that I can’t handle commitment All it means is I need a pervert’s guide to loneliness

Steve got kicked out of the Garden of Eden That was the same year I got estranged from church In both cases the crimes were blasphemy And third degree, premeditated sodomy ‘Cause Mother Nature loves us But God kinda hates us I just wish Yahweh would go suck a cock! So this alienated teenager tried witchcraft for a while But got occult mixed up with regular cult Then agnosticism fit the bill for his noncommittal mind He thought his religious views could not be defined But then at twenty-seven, he finally realized He could no longer let the truth be disguised Yahweh’s homophobia was not just from being a douchebag It was internalized hatred Because God is a fag! Jehovah made the rainbow sparkle, shine with radiance Which should be enough validation for one to be a gaytheist ‘Cause Mother Nature loves us But God kinda hates himself I just wish Yahweh would go suck more cock! Yahweh should suck more cock, more cock Yahweh should suck more cock, more cock Maybe if he had more butt sex, he wouldn’t be so uptight And his idiotic followers’ claims could not be justified He’d rewrite the hate speech in Leviticus and Deuteronomy And rethink his previous objections to sodomy ‘Cause Mother Nature loves us But God kinda hates us I just wish Yahweh would go suck a dick!

The troll girl was found under a bridge On highway 18 outside of Lost Springs, Wyoming Naked and ragged, she was only 8 years old The tests suggest she had no memories The mayor gave a 30-day decree If by that time no one had come to claim her Then she would join the Randolph family Those sterile newlyweds were only 23 Oh, trolls! Sometimes we can never be redeemed From the decisions we made at 23 The moment troll girl turned 17 She headed west to the Willamette Valley She instantly loved the anonymity Blending in with Portland’s freaks with a fake ID She even found some reputable jobs A school bus driver, part time selling weed But after all her merchandise was robbed A questionable business deal bought her a pregnancy Oh, trolls! Sometimes we can never be redeemed From the decisions we made at 17 So troll girl had a son He started smoking at age 4 9 years later was a Juggalo With gang leanings hardcore Then troll boy met a new troll girl He knocked her up at 12 His mother chased them down the street Took her katana off the shelf They were not welcome at her house So they moved under a bridge Birthed on the banks of the Willamette What a fitting way for trolls to live! Oh, trolls! Sometimes we can never be redeemed From the decisions we made at age 13 Oh sometimes we can never be redeemed Especially when our stories can’t be believe But they’re true, they’re true, they’re true

It seems that almost every day A politician comes my way If he's elected, then it's his plan To save the country if he can To save the country if he can The promises them fellers make Make me suspect they're all a fake I guess the thing for me to do Is listen till them guys are through Then ask them if it's their belief, If there's a bill for tax relief If there's a bill for tax relief I smoke them candidates' cigars When they ride up in fancy cars They talk away an hour or more, And then I vote like I did before

for 24 hours you lived as someone else your questionable choices affecting only yourself seeing what it’s like to live with robots and deluxe toilet paper upper-middle class luxuries like being suspended in skydiving chambers to transcend your life of stark disappointments and picking up slack for a temporary fantasy of having a husband who will have your back through financial security the safety net of joint checking accounts as you pursue your artistry he supports you to achieve what you’re truly about so you let your guard down and acted somewhat rash mainly concerning the feats you accomplished while on your back seduced by status and novel encounters not to mention a stunning physique the heat of the moment repelled better judgements of any cautionary technique so now you’re back to your life practical obligations and promises kept when you weren’t mystified by romantic delusions which left you bereft so now you’ve got to decide between penniless sitar players on whom you’ve relied or on the other hand the maharajah’s fantasy which might just turn out to be nothing but a lie

You’re too pragmatic You’re too sentimental And you don’t even recognize your full potential That being said, would you be my safety net For my big leap of faith? You do jujitsu You do aikido I find it hard to keep up with your healthy libido That being said, I could be your safety net For your big leap of faith In the bedroom, You’re excessively hygienic Well your habits could bring about a full pandemic! That being said, would you be my safety net For my big leap of faith? You’re such a Pollyanna From Montana You seem to get annoyed when I play my piano It’s Wyoming, by the way, but would you be my safety net For my big leap of faith? Let’s be romantic Too much effort I don’t know why I even try these hopeless endeavors Chop chop! We are late! But I could be your safety net For your big leap of faith You’re misanthropic Well you’re neurotic Your social interactions can seem, frankly, robotic It’s social anxiety, asshole, but I could be your safety net For your big leap of faith You’re pessimistic A tad bit sadistic Well you don’t seem to comprehend a single statistic! That being said, I could [would you] be your [my] safety net For your [my] big leap of faith? Now I’ve had time to reflect I cannot be your safety net But I could help you build your own instead Now I’m struggling to decide To which passions I will abide But they’re all leaps of faith in their own way Plus it seems you want a sense of home While my tendency is to roam And take big leaps of faith of my own Sure sometimes I love adventure And those we’ve had I’ll always treasure But I also want stability Plus safety nets you have a few Even if I’m not your boo For there are many people who love you But over all I must endeavor To not rely on others’ favors To be a safety net for myself We’re at a point where this defines Whether our nets will entwine Or whether we have it in us to leap together Either way I will admit That I will grieve a little bit But one thing I know for sure Is that knowing you has made my life better