A Pervert's Guide to Avoiding Loneliness

from Self-Help Acoustic by Scott Steven Erickson

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lyrics

I’m too kinky for FetLife
I’m not husband material
My innermost desires are illicit and venereal
I’ve sold my underwear to a man in Luxembourg
My sex life could be diagnosed as a theatre of the absurd

I need a pervert’s guide to avoiding loneliness

I love the bears and otters
But I’ll sometimes go for twinks
Any body type is beautiful
Especially when it stinks!
I like men of many different shapes and shades and demographics
I like boys who make collages of National Geographics
Philosophers, photographers
Blue, white, or pink collars
It doesn’t matter much to me whether they are dropouts or scholars

I need a pervert’s guide to avoiding loneliness

I’ve been dumped due to differences in class
I’ve been dumped by guys who didn’t like my cats
But the biggest deal-breakers that I’ve ever seen
Were from dudes who couldn’t handle my polyamory
‘Cause I’m a slut who is versatile and has many tastes
And I don’t like opportunities to go to waste
And I might be incapable of monogamy
But rest assured, my sluttiness is done ethically

Now that doesn’t mean that I’m incapable of love
Now that doesn’t mean that I don’t value your uniqueness
Now that doesn’t mean that I can’t handle commitment
All it means is I need a pervert’s guide to loneliness

credits

from Self-Help Acoustic, released August 1, 2015

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Scott Steven Erickson Olympia, Washington

Upbeat, quirky, and just a tad bit nihilistic.

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